(Humor)
actual convos I was involved in and quotes I have said to others

doctor (2003):
Doctor: "How often do you shower?"
Me: "Everyday"
Doctor: "Why?"
Me: "To be clean."
Doctor: "In China, they only shampoo their hair once a month... so it is not necessary to shower everday."
Me: "uhh...."=-O

leprechaun: mon oct 6, 03 concerned friend#2: you're so small; you're like an elf... No... more like a..... uhh... leprechaun... yeeah! a leprechaun! me: huh? a leprechaun??? am I... magically delicious?

baked turkey:
ever since I got really really toested under the sun... I smell like baked turkey!!!

burthday
random convo 2003
Chrissy: I think I'm going to the 50 cent concert, are you going?
me: wow! Does the concert really cost 50 cents???
Chrissy: No, it's a 50 cent concert.
me: It costs 50 cents?
Chrissy: No, the band is 50 cent.
me: 50 cents to go to the concert?
Chrissy: No, the band is called 50 cent
me: Huh? I don't get it.
Chrissy: The name of the band that's playing in the conert is "50 cent".
me: Ohhhh. No I don't think I'm going then... But if it costed 50 cents I'd go.

concerned friend:
Karate thoughts 09/15/03 and concerned friend's reaction:
me: I got punched in the eye from a new member.
concerned friend: that's because you suck. Haha
me: I saw it coming, but I didn't do anything about it. I blocked, but stopped short and then poof!
concerned friend: that should teach you to make better blocks

eat Chinese:
don't say that you love to eat Chinese, because I don't say that I love to eat Americans!!!;-)

elementary:tue 10/21/03
me: damn i wish it was elementary [instead of linear algebra]
Abby: hahaha
me: 5 + x = 10 what is x??
x = 2 yayyy! i get an A!!!!
Abby: riiight
me: oops
Abby: well it's 5
me: ok I fail:-P

torture:
If you feel like studying is torturing you, close your eyes, imagine you are jumping out of the window and getting buried in the snow... then you will truely know what suffering is... ;-)

complicated:
Tutor from MSB: Where are you from?
me: Well my parents were from Vietnam. My dad's mom is Chinese, so I'm also partially Chinese and I'm also partially Vietnamese...
Tutor: Ok nvm, too too complicated... I'm 100% Chinese.

mutant: 10/9/03
abby: phuc's allergic to the sun and allergic to sunscreen!
joe: really? that's not good...
me: yeah... I would break out in [blisters]. I'm like a mutant from the...
Joe: hahaha X-Men!
me: yeah... I just haven't developed my mutant powers yet...
Jon: oooo when u do, you can use your mutant powers with karate to sparr-- then you'll win everytime!!!

random convo in high school
Jeremy:> "you should work out to be built up like Arnold Schwarzenegger in 'The Terminator'. Then go to gladiators and battle with those giant cotton swabs!" me: "So I will be called 'the phucinator'... 'I will PHUC... YOU... UP!!!'";-)

quotes of 9/11/03:
CSE124 Proff.: "I like programs that allow me to move objects... It makes me happy.":-)
Mall lady: How old r u?
Me: Guess
Lady: I dont know... 10?
Me: 19:-P

small:
convo @ a birthday party 2001?
Jay: "oh my god! look at her hands! whoa! and look at mine! look at her! she's so small! just look at her!"=-O
Me: "yes... I'm small...":-!
Sarah: "But isn't she a little hottie???":-*

white:
Sat, Nov 8, 2003
walking to women's basketball game:::
me: I wore blue and white.
chrissy: I didn't really dress up... but I'm wearing blue jeans...
me: ...and you're white! Go Huskies!

reunited:
sarah (singing): Reunited but it feeeeels so goood!
me: Haha! Is that what it really says?!
sarah: yeah I JUST found out what it really says the other day...
me: ooo I've heard the song before it's just that I never payed attention to the lyrics
sarah (singing): Reunited but it feels SO GOOD!
me: whoa I didn't know they would sing that back then
sarah (singing): REUNITED but it feels so good!
me: Ohhh! I thought you were singing "REAL NAUGHTY but it feels so good!"

sexual orientation:
memories from livn in an all girls dorm for a yr last yr (2002-2003):
girl knocks on door and asks me to answer a survey. last question on survey: are you heterosexual, homosexual or bi?
my thought: what about asexual? how discriminating!
my answer: heterosexual. btw, it's a stereotype to think it's a lesbian dorm!
ur answer: ???
chrissy: what about undecided?
cuz people can not have a clue what preferance
but i'd have to answer heterosexual

bizarre nighty:
referring to uconn men's basket ball game...
uh oh he grabbed the ball, but the wrong ball!

panties: 7/21/03
me: Isn't there a cartoon character that steals candy from children?
sista: eww! like a pedophile???
me: NO! a cartoon character who likes to steal children's candies.
sista: EWW UR GROSS
me: What?! children's CANDIES
sista: ohhhhh I thought u said PANTIES!

reunited: Mon 09/29/03
sarah: on a commercial they r playing reunited
me: yeahhhhhhhhhhhhh! what was that? i forgot. he was eating something. dunkn dognuts? [inside joke: senior yr some1 misspelled]
sarah: wtf. for resees
me: ooooo haha I'm way off
sarah: oh yeah
me: that's funny. i thought about you. [when i saw that commercial]
sarah: "dunkn dognuts and it feels so good"

cherry pot pie:
me: cherry pot, cherry pot, CHERRY POT PIEEEEE!!!! sweet n' meaty -- JUST LIKE ME!!!
Chrissy: ewww.. you can take that wrong in soooo many ways!!!

concerned friend #2
9/21/03
me: my roomy is never around she lives with her bf
#2: does she have condoms?
me: huh?
#2: you know when her and her bf.....
me: What?! eww!
#2: Better safe than sorry!

cock: Inside Joke:
me:*sigh...* everytime I eat, think, see, or see something that looks like chicken, I think of ChickenSurgeon... Is that sad or what?
Thanh: then u must hate being around me...
me: huh? ohhh you're a chicken??? chinese and vietnamese zodiac! I'm a mouse in Vietnamese and Rat in Chinese!
Thanh: Oh wait, I'm actually a rooster. Chicken in Chinese and Rooster for Vietnamese, I think... so... basically... I'm a COCK...